Heavy: An American Memoir

I've been trying to find what's heavy that's been messing up my mind

I think I found the answer, 'cause it was right there all the time

Heavy Makes You Happy” Staple Singers, 1971

For those who missed Saturday’s meeting at the Downtown Library, you missed a good time and a great discussion of Heavy: An American Memoir by Kiese Laymon!

Chanell, our moderator, opened with a question regarding the significance of the memoir’s title and its dive into not only the author’s personal struggles with weight management and body dysmorphia but the overbearing load and life-long debilitating effects the surrounding themes had on him and his family, specifically: systemic and pervasive racism, poverty, domestic abuse, sexual abuse, child molestation, classism, racism, sexism, mass incarceration, absentee parents, single motherhood, and various addictions (gambling, drugs, food).

Expanding on the second phrase in the title, his story focuses on the American perspective, specifically, as an underprivileged African-American male raised in the rural, impoverished South. (We recognize economic inequality and most of the social ills and -isms mentioned in the book are in some aspects “universal” meaning such problems are found in many cultures, countries, and communities; however, he’s writing about his experiences in the USA and we kept within those confines.) While we have read many notable (auto-) biographies from prolific writers (James Baldwin, Richard Wright, Dick Gregory, Nathan McCall), we believe Kiese Layman’s work will be added to the list as one of the most memorable, honest, and heartfelt.

A few of us, familiar with one or more of these issues from personal, professional or casual experiences, was hoping for a glimpse of a happy ending, perhaps a new-found coping skill(s), or better yet breakthrough techniques to be shared with others who face the same trials and tribulations mentioned in the book - but there weren’t any to be found in this tome. Instead, this was a “telling,” a cathartic release, initially penned to his mother. In Heavy, the reader glimpses a soul-baring release from a child to his mother. At its bare bones, this book is a burdened boy’s journey into adulthood amid a myriad of personal (and crippling) challenges.

Everyone admitted to highlighting, underlining many passages and quotes from the book because it contained many insightful, (albeit painful), and reflective passages that either enlightened, educated, or resonated in such an eloquent and visceral manner -- some aspects of this book are bound to stay with the reader for a while after closing the book.

Despite the serious weight (no pun intended) and tone of the book, we managed to eke out some laughs from ancillary topics and sidenotes. I think I speak for the group that this was a rich, thoughtful discussion that allowed everyone to share their comments, experiences or observations relating to Kiese’s experiences and themes he presented in his memoir.

While enjoying Chanell’s refreshments (She loves us - she brought cheesecake! We love her too!), members read and responded to Kiese’s mother’s public response to the book. Most felt his mother failed him on varying levels and thought her open response was weak and simply lacked the sincere apology owed to her child.

Thanks to all who joined us! Hope to see you next month. If you’ve read Heavy: An American Memoir and would like to share your thoughts and rating, please do so below in the comments section or respond via email and I’ll update accordingly.

Our Outtakes & Ratings

NCBC Rating: 4.8

Jill - In Process: Was on business travel in Atlanta and unable to attend, but is “lovin’ the read and looks forward to interviewing Kiese one day.” She has the 2019 book list and looks forward to attending a future NCBC session.

Phyllis - 5: This book was on her 2018 favorite novel list and like others had many passages highlighted. Enjoyed it so much that she re-read it (something she rarely does) for the book club discussion. She admired the author’s honesty and transparency about his life and the bravery it took to share this with the universe. Would have liked to seen/heard more healing for Kiese at this point in his life, but at least this book is a step in the right direction.

Syreeta - NR: Abstained from rating the book because didn’t want to make judgments because it’s someone’s real life. She totally disliked Kiese’s mother and felt she failed her child. She wishes him the best on road to self-actualization and mental health. Appreciates the work but the book was rough to read. Great writer and storyteller.

Davita - 4.5: A traumatic read, but enjoyed the black male perspective - something we rarely see. The author had the capability to draw the reader in, loved the writing style.

Juliette - NR; didn’t get a chance to read the book due to grad school assignments. As with Angela (did not read but would read in the future), she empathized with the mother basically stating that until one walks in a (single) mother’s and/or wife’s shoes, one can’t definitively state what one will do or won’t do. Things happen when you’re in love (in a relationship or within marriage) and perspectives and actions change when you have responsibilities and obligations to consider -- your children’s lives and their livelihood are at stake. Thus as mothers, they weren’t willing to vilify Kiese’s mother until she told her side of the story (if/when she ever decides to do so).

DaVine - Did not read, but believes his story has a lot in common with everyday experiences in our community.

Adrian - 4.5: Written beautifully, but wanted to author to get to the point.

Richelle - 5: While telling the author’s story, he told the story of America, the black community and American history. Strong themes that challenge the reader to reflect on your own experiences.

Chanell - 5: Enjoyed the book and plan to re-read. Kiese captured my attention immediately, with the opening words: “I did not want to write to you. I wanted to write a lie”. I reflected on my own childhood experiences, my perspective of my parents then, hindsight, honesty, empathy, and love. Also the public health of African American families.

#books